Here are some example introductions from peers' C&E essay proposals. Each example includes the topic/thesis of the essay, and then the introduction. Notice how each one works to grab the reader's attention, and then (hopefully) leads the reader into the paper's point. [These have not yet been edited for grammar, format, etc. -- so they're RAW.]
Example 1
Effect: Good students from high school often fail out or are close to
it in their first semester at college.
Intro paragraph:
According to the writer Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Success is to laugh often
and much; To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of
children..." However, he does not mention that success is getting a
college education and finding a job, the most important in living a
prosperous life. Succeeding in college is crucial to setting up the
rest of your life. Then why is it that students from high school with
high GPA's and SAT scores often ruin their first semester and fail? A
first semester at college is important to future semesters at college
and in being successful, but so many students fail and there are many
causes for it.
Example 2
Introduction: Quick call 911! Amanda is passed out on the floor!
As the ambulance speeds away, the only question is why? Was it because of a
problem in her relationship with Tommy? "It seemed as though everything was
fine." Did she have a problem with drugs or anything like that? "I doubt
it, she was the "ideal" student." Were there problems amongst the family?
"Her mother and father were active in the PTA, so that doesn't seem to be
it." Well then why? Lets take a closer look at young Amanda's life.
Extended Thesis: The reason for a juvenile suicide is not always apparent.
Being a kid is not as easy as it seems, especially if you try and grow up to
fast. The problems only compound themselves if you fall in love, get
involved in drugs, or have a dysfunctional family.
Example 3
Expanded Thesis: A loving parent's instinct to be protective is inevitable.
However, in the eyes of the recipient of this protection, the child or
children, may perceive this protection as overprotectiveness. Some may say
that it is better to be overprotective than to be 'under-protective'. But
this is not always the case. In fact, it can be unhealthy for a child to
experience an excess of protectiveness, and can lead to rebellion.
Example Introduction:
Marcie was never allowed to go anywhere. She was a
senior in high school and she had only been out with her friends once and
that's only because she skipped school once. She never went to parties except
family parties and she was not allowed to date. Even what she was allowed to
wear was restricted. But she'd show them when she got out of that house and
on her own... she was going to party!!!
Example 4
Imagine this: a seven-year-old child sees the movie 101 Dalmations and
falls in love with the dogs. She begs and begs her parents to buy her a
dalmation for Christmas. After much debate, her parents give in and Jenny
receives 'Rickles' on December 25th. Eight months down the road, Jenny is
unhappy with the size of Rickles and wants a new, smaller puppy. Again after
much debate, her parents give in and buy Jenny a new puppy. But what happens
to Rickles? Along with millions of other pets, Rickles is brought to a
Humane Society. We, as proud Americans, must end this cruel behavior towards
any kind of helpless pet. Love is not a question of convenience, and this
hold true to one's pet.
Example 5
Thesis/statement: The examples and guidelines my parents have set
regarding money spending have directly affected my habits today and
will, in turn, determine my financial well-being in the future.
Introduction including extended thesis:
"I hate you! Why can't I have just one pair of Guess Jeans? It's not
fair!" Can you relate? An argument similar to this burst out of my
mouth just about every weekend of my childhood years. Whether it was a
slip-and-slide I saw advertised on T.V., a new board game my
neighborhood playmate got for a birthday gift, or a cool Gap shirt my
best friend wore to school, I always seemed to want things my parents
just didn't seem to want to buy for me.
Of course, at such a young age I assumed my parents didn't want to give
me what I desired. The notion never came to me that money is required
to buy such things - money my parents didn't have. Why can't money grow
on trees, I wondered. If this were the case I could stop hating my
parents, have all the clothes, toys, and whatever else I wanted, and
refrain from ever having this argument again. Since we all know this
phenomenon has such a slim chance of occuring, parents must take the
initiative to guide children toward responsible money-spending habits.
This means saying "no" to a desperate crying five-year-old who seems to
only know how to begin a sentence with, "I want."
When it comes to parenting there are multitudinous values and lessons
parents strive to instill in their children. However, merely imparting
these teachings to children is not enough. Parents must also put these
lessons into practice themselves. Only the combination of these two
actions will render the desired positive effect. The examples and
guidelines my parents have set regarding money spending have directly
affected my habits today and will, in turn, determine my financial
well-being in the future. By bargain shopping, encouraging me to earn
an allowance, and assigning me the responsibility of buying my own car,
my parents have taught me a lifetime lesson that will help and guide my
financial decisions.
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