Spellcheck poem

Below is one of many versions of the (in)famous "Spellcheck poem" floating about the WWW. It works by homophones (look it up) -- evidence of the extent to which the U.S. remains an auditory and oral culture. Laugh at the poem; learn from it. Here the mistakes amuse; in your own papers, they cost.

CANDIDATE FOR A PULLET SURPRISE
by Jerrold H. Zar

I have a spelling checker,
It came with my PC.
It plane lee marks four my revue
Miss steaks aye can knot sea.

Eye ran this poem threw it,
Your sure reel glad two no.
Its vary polished in it's weigh.
My checker tolled me sew.

A checker is a bless sing,
It freeze yew lodes of thyme.
It helps me right awl stiles two reed,
And aides me when eye rime.

Each frays come posed up on my screen
Eye trussed too bee a joule.
The checker pours o'er every word
To cheque sum spelling rule.

Bee fore a veiling checker's
Hour spelling mite decline,
And if we're lacks oar have a laps,
We wood bee maid too wine.

Butt now bee cause my spelling
Is checked with such grate flare,
Their are know fault's with in my cite,
Of nun eye am a wear.

Now spelling does knot phase me,
It does knot bring a tier.
My pay purrs awl due glad den
With wrapped word's fare as hear.

To rite with care is quite a feet
Of witch won should bee proud,
And wee mussed dew the best wee can,
Sew flaw's are knot aloud.

Sow ewe can sea why aye dew prays
Such soft wear four pea seas,
And why eye brake in two averse
Buy righting want too pleas.

Jerrold H. Zar
The Graduate School
Northern Illinois University
DeKalb, IL 60115-2864

Title suggested by Pamela Brown.
Based on opening lines suggested by Mark Eckman.
By the author's count, 127 of the 225 words of the poem are incorrect (although all words are correctly spelled).

Published January/February 1994, on page 13, in
Journal of Irreproducible Results
c/o Wisdom Simulators, Inc.
P.O. Box 380853
Cambridge, MA 02238
current address of publishser:
George H. Scherr
350 E. Sauk Trail
S. Chicago Heights, IL 60411